


What do you call a lost wolf?

by scribensdracones



Series: One-Shots for Friends [6]
Category: Noblesse (Manhwa)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25132066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribensdracones/pseuds/scribensdracones
Summary: Maduke heard this bad joke just one too many times.
Series: One-Shots for Friends [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759711
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	What do you call a lost wolf?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Digital_Strawberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digital_Strawberry/gifts).



> I wish I could link pictures to show the original meme that got me this idea.

Maduke liked to think of himself as a patient man. However, in the past two weeks, his patience had been put on trial in a way it hadn’t in centuries. It started innocently – he was trying to have brunch with Zaiga, as they have been doing each sunday for three thousand years already, when Zaiga started it all. “So. What do you call a lost wolf?”  
He simply took a sip of his coffee, expecting Zaiga to elaborate, and he did. “ _A where-wolf._ ” Despite himself, Maduke snorted, splattering coffee over the table.

Three days later, Dorant, what a goldenhearted fool he was, reported his squad’s observations of the week when he, too, suddenly said: “Lord, what do you call a where-wolf?”  
The Lord just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The question is called ‘what do you call a lost wolf’, Dorant.” Poor man really managed to mess up the punchline when telling his Lord a joke. But Dorant’s flustered embarrassment was amusing enough to let him off the hook.

In the evening of the same day, when Lunark came for a glass of whiskey as it was custom for them every wednesday evening for a hundred and fifty years already, she sat down with her glass and allowed him to light her cigarette when she, suddenly – “Lord, what do you call a lost wolf?”  
Maduke merely stared at her in response and simply let her snicker at her ‘a _where_ -wolf’. In that moment, he really felt like he should strangle her and replace her with a less bothersome imposter.

After four days of peace, Maduke crossed paths with the twins on his way to the communication room. Another Elder meeting awaited him. Both approached him with mischievous grins and, anticipating that they had something to say, his steps slowed.  
“My Lord,” Mirai started. “What do you call a lost wolf?”  
Maduke just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Really? Really now?  
“A where-wolf!”, Urne finished and both erupted in laughter as he simply walked past them. Quickly, their laughter stopped, replaced by apologies. Why did everyone want to make him laugh anyway?  
  
The next day, he meant to see the progress of the warriors in training but Gayare, in charge of the training supervision today, knelt with a ‘May I make you laugh, my Lord?’ and Maduke was tempted to just say ‘No’ because he had heard enough jokes. But Gayare was a loyal man who’d maybe manage to not disappoint him. He simply gave a noncommital nod and the black haired warrior looked up. “What do you call a lost wolf?”  
Maduke just turned away and left because he had seen and heard enough.

Two days later, he would see Kentas. The warrior was the spokesperson for the southern settlement and usually, his reports were fine as they were. He finished his account of everything that happened in that part of their lands when – “What do you call a lost wolf, Lord?”  
Maduke closed his eyes for a moment. “Get out of here.”

Why did everyone think they had to tell him a joke? The _same_ joke?! As if their people had exactly just one joke!

At least he did not have to fear the meeting with Juraki. Juraki was a dependable man who did not crack unnecessary jokes. Except Maduke’s faith in him was misplaced. “Lord. What do you call a wolf who got lost?”  
“You call him Juraki because _you’re_ getting lost.” Maduke commented, his patience stretched thin. At least Juraki understood that this was a good moment to really get lost, just as his Lord had ordered him to. This was unbelievable. Just before the blue-haired werewolf reached the door, Maduke raised his hand. “Juraki. Gather the warriors.”

They all answered the summons right away and gathered in front of him, countless colorful eyes looking at him expectantly. “What do you call a lost wolf?”, Maduke asked calmly, waiting for someone to dare and step forward. Finally, Grui took the bait and took a step forward. “What, my Lord?”  
“A _where_ -wolf.”

Some of the warriors laughed in genuine, others just chuckled out of politeness or looked away uncomfortably. “Now that you all have heard this joke… I never wish to hear this joke again. Understood? From now on, this joke is _forbidden_ in the presence of a Lord.” Why be Lord if you cannot even outlaw jokes you hate?

In the second row, Gotaru cleared his throat and finally shuffled forward. “Lord, we hoped we could make you laugh. You never laugh, and rarely smile.”

The young warriors of this new generation were really a band of puppies vying for the approval of the leader of the pack. It was almost touching, if it were not so annoying to hear the same joke over and over again. Still, he could not just reject them like that. “I appreciate the sentiment.”

To which Lunark stepped forward with that sly little smile he’d grown to hate so much. “Lord, then may I propose another joke that might amuse you? What do you call a werewolf with no legs?”

Maduke’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

“Anything you want. He can’t chase you after all,” she deadpanned. And this time, Maduke actually broke out in laughter. Lunark had accomplished their mission.


End file.
